BB.

Excuse me while I:

• Eat as much as I want to.
• Take up as much space as I want to.
• Lift as heavy as I want to.
• Become one of the strongest women in the world.
• Be as “feminine” as I want to.
• Enjoy being covered in dirt and sweat.
• Give a damn about people I love and care about.
• Cry on occasion.
• Express myself.
• Feel weak.
• Feel strong.
• Make mistakes.
• Pursue a career in mechanical engineering.
• Find beauty in everything.
• Remember where I started.
• Kick ass and take names.

and most importantly - excuse me while I don’t give two f*cks about what you think I should and should not do.

KTHXBYE

Sort of a followup to Cookie Monster’s Article here.

If the person you love has gained 30 lbs, I think it’s appropriate to tell them maybe it would be beneficial for them to get in shape. It is a really, sensitive issue. One must be careful in bringing up this conversation.

You can call me insensitive  but believe me when I say  I’m 100% talking from experience on the receiving end of this. I was in a relationship, where I did in fact gain 30 lbs, and then my boyfriend told me I needed to lose weight as he’d lost complete physical attraction for me. Why did I leave this “jerk”? For reasons that go much deeper than that commentary towards my weight.  It was sort of the “straw that broke the camel’s back” as you would say.

What is the source of weight gain? It is likely stress, such as starting University or the death of a family member. Another source? Living in an environment where no one finds you beautiful as you are (even at a healthy weight).  Of course, looking beyond what other people think of you is a skill that develops as you become an adult… but at the time, I did not know better.

What needs to be identified is that the weight gain is a cause of some temporary state. I think it is OK for a human being to put on weight during a very stressful period. It is up to them to discover that being chronically overweight will not make them feel good about themselves in the long run. If they are gaining weight because they just don’t care, it’s convenient, and they’re lazy…then it could be time to step in. Not taking responsibility for your physical health is often paired with lack of responsibility in other areas of your life. ..and the neglect you have for yourself is often reflected in neglect of care for your partner.

The boyfriend who told me I needed to lose weight was a chain smoker & wasn’t particularly “fit” himself. Instead of addressing me & and only me as the problem…if he would have said something like…hey, I need to quit smoking & you’ve always wanted to get in shape…let’s do it together so we can both feel great about ourselves…THAT is certainly not offensive. That’s the truth. If you want to have the conversation, THAT is what you need to say.

Also, weight gain isn’t just an “ overnight” thing.  Isn’t it kind of unfair to let the person you love eat themselves into oblivion until one day it becomes “not” okay? If you’re noticing a problem, it’s your responsibility to be the friendly reminder. Kind of give them a wakeup call and say hey,  I love you. I want you to be happy & I want you to be healthy. Let’s make dinner tonight instead of chowing down at Burger King.

Ideally, everyone should be able to take care of themselves. But sometimes, we don’t know how to do that because of misinformation. Offering guidance/resources/inspiration = probably the best motivation for someone to get healthy.

I think my boyfriend and I are currently the sexiest we’ve ever been in our lives. I’ve lost 30 lbs in the last 8 months, & he’s packed on some serious muscle…and not only have we become physically strong & awesome, we’re both students in an incredibly difficult program & kicking ass. And we’re good people to other people. Just like neglect can carry over to all areas of your life, giving a shit also carries over to all of you life…and can make you the most awesome/successful person you’ve always dreamed of. Who the fuck says love/relationships have to be complacency and laziness? 

These past few days have been absolutely invigorating. A new found energy in a nutritious & healthy diet & lots of QT at the gym. I feel very connected to my body, learning to listen when it’s hungry…when it’s tired. Establishing a physical/mental connection & awareness that’s way long overdue. 

I was feeling pretty sore last night, but after stretching for about 45 minutes…I was able to fall asleep pain-free. I love this pain/healing cycle. & knowing, each revolution makes me stronger. 

Falling in love & finally taking care of what I was born with, and will follow me throughout the rest of my days…